Insignificant

Referring to my previous post... Yes, the New Moon movie is better than the book. I'm so on team Jacob. Now looking forward to Cirque Du Freak the movie. Also about Vampires and I read during my secondary school days.

On another note....

I'm still waiting for my next job to start. Its been 3 months since I've been unemployed. People think its sooo easy to stay home and not do anything. Ya, you try it. See if you can stay at home, have an inquisitive, questioning mind and be completely alone with nothing to distract you from yourself. Just you and yourself in a death ring of life and questions. Ya, its easy.

With so much time to think, one thing that pops into my head is how completely and totally insignificant I feel. Recently, I went on a short trip to KL. My mum had a ton of people to inform about the trip and there were people who were like 'huh... why you going? What will we do without you?' I didn't tell anyone about the trip. I thought 'why bother?' Then, this crossed my mind.... Would anyone miss me if I'm gone?

Yes, I might look like I have the perfect life from the outside. Wake up people... NO ONE has a perfect life. I just don't tell you certain stuff and you don't bother to look deeper.

I appreciate the people in my life soooo much... just for being who you are, you are enriching my life. Did you know that?

But these days, everyone is moving on with their life and its ok! I'm happy for you!

Its just that now... its just me, my thoughts, nothing to distract me from them and no one to save me.

I dreamed I was missing you were so scared

But no one would listen cause no one else cared

After my dreaming I woke with this fear

What am I leaving when I'm done here

So if you're asking me I want you to know...

When my time comes forget the wrong that I've done

Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed

And don't resent me and when you're feeling empty

Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest

I'm scared. But that's alright... I think.