Settling in nicely

Work is great! I actually look forward to going to work sometimes! I think cos we spend so much time otgether, 6 days a week, learning and going through the same things together, I really bonded with my colleagues! It really feels like school there... you have to report on time, no allowance given, if you're late you have to let your trainer know and you even have to let them know you're going to the toilet!

Mum and dad went to Beijing last week. They came back today. I think its cos of my cousins and colleagues that made the absence of them quite enjoyable! Don't get me wrong, I did miss them especially when I come home to a considerably quieter house, but I maybe would never have had all the fun moments and memories this past week if they were in Singapore! Now that mum's back, I gotta be more guai again and do my duty as a daughter! Ha.

Since I didn't wanna spend Sunday alone, I invited my cousins over for an overnight ''mahjong session''. Boy, it was anything BUT a mahjong session! We ended up playing drinking games and about 6 hours after they arrived, at about 6am, we were pretty much all passed out! Haha... Cousin Jonathan came over and I was really glad we did cos we never really spent much time together before. And cousins Ruyi and Jac brought their friend Kate over too. Kate was the very nice turn of events especially for my dear lil cousin Fran! Haha... he might have to thank me if it all works out! :) I really love it when life takes an unexpected turn and suddenly a whole new era of great things just begin!

I love the way I took care of myself when my parents were not around! I hope I've shown mum that I'm not a little girl anymore and I can handle myself. With that and the way I totally took care of her when we went KL, I hope she can allow me to go overseas with friends or cousins in the future. *crossing fingers*

Love ya cousins! Peace! :)

First days of activity

Yesterday was my orientation. Boy, a whole lot of briefing was done! Today, Tuesday was the first day of training. So far its alright. I don't really like the beginning part when everyone is still shy and not really talkative... So far the people are nice. Not a whole lot of them are my year... A lot of mid twenties and above. And a significant amount of aunties and uncles! Like my mum and dad's age! And they even speak the hokkien exactly like them. Quite a whole lot of foreigners... The usual suspects la... I won't mention in detail.

As with most work, I can't say much about exactly what I'm doing. Most of you who know me know what I'm doing and the rest can just guess!

Its now 12.35am as I am writing this. I just got home not long ago. My training will only end at 11pm from now on! I don't really like the timing cos its like an ''in between'' time. Starts in the middle of the afternoon and ends late at night. Can't really meet up with friends cos they all working in the morning and can't meet them at night too cos its too late! Why coudln't I have been given the one that ends at 3pm? Haha...

At least I have 1 friends through all this... Sharilyn whom I've known for quite a while now! We're in different groups so can only see each other in passing but its better than nothing! By the time I come home, I think there's just enough time to watch something online while my hair dries or go my usual sites, then go to sleep, wake up in time for brunch and its off to work again! I hope the pace picks up! :)

CNY prep

Chinese New Year is coming! I've been quite busy preparing for it. Since I'm still stuck at home for now waiting for work to start, I decided to help my mum out. I practically cleaned the whole kitchen, cleaned the bar counter (except for the wine and liquor cos I like the dust on them!), swept certain parts of the ceiling, cleaned every corner of my room and almost every other detail in my house. I'm like ready to be a housewife! Haha... I mentioned to my mum that I don't think my friends do this much for spring cleaning. Also, I noticed that since I graduated, I've never been employed during the X'mas and CNY period! Maybe that's why? I dunno... Friends, do you spring clean the house?

Yesterday (10Feb) was my dog Dixie's 3rd death anniversary. I'm totally ok with it now. We occasionally mention her in conversation and talk of her stupid but adorable habits. Like she always stood staring at the door wanting to go out then the moment you let her go out, she wants to come in again! And when she wants food and you ask her to do 1 trick like sit, she'll end up doing all she knows so you can give it to her faster! And when she smells something she doesn't like, she'll put her nose underneath her left hind leg and walk away! I miss you Dixie. And I generally miss having something furry around the house (besides the dust bunnies). This after falling in love with a chewing guinea pig at great world city!

Valentine's Day is coming up. Went to watch the movie Valentine's Day today. Never really bothered about that day cos its my mum's birthday. In a way, I'm really glad cos I know that my family would somehow have to celebrate her birthday together, so I'll never be alone. I shudder to think how alone I'd be if my mum's birthday wasn't on that day!

After finally receiving the start date of my work (22Feb), I'm glad to report that my mental health is better! I keep myself busy with spring cleaning and I don't have depressive thoughts about 80% of the time. Just as well... the previous posts that I mentioned my depressive feelings could just as well have been suicide letters cos no one bothered to ask. Not even a mention on my tag board. Considering taking it down... Hmm...

Only a few more days before CNY! Have a feeling it'll be an interesting one. Hopefully a good interesting! :)

Useless Sat night fact

While surfing Wikipedia, I came across something called 'Irritable Male Syndrome'. Haha! Who knew they had a term for irritating males? Kidding...

It is actually a recently coined term for a set of symptoms thought to be caused by a drop in testosterone levels in male mammals. Like a male menopause?

But still, can't deny the fact of the words... Irritable Male Syndrome is just a ''bowel movement'' away from Irritable Bowel Syndrome! :)

Am I really doing this again? I'm scared.

I just had a rather nice day doing the whole lunch and movie thing with mum. Then dinner with sis. Played Sims. Chatted online with friends. No ordinary firends but my closest friends. And just cos of 1 small thing that happened. 1 small thing of them not really listening to what I was saying. And I feel like curling up in a (big) ball on my bed, letting it all flow out until it stops.

Where does it even come from? Why is it here? I'm controlling back something that probably shouldn't be here in the first place. They're asleep now. The silence is deafening.

why?

i don't wanna feel like this. I thought the hormones were supposed to be over and done with.

Don't even know how to end this post.

2009 in review

It was a tumultuos and also peaceful year. Let's see... I was unemplyed for almost half a year and the other half a year OF MY LIFE was consumed by my first serious job (with a career path). I learned A LOT this year from that job. It was certainly very challenging, a test of your pateince, endurance and brains and I'm not shy to admit that I was not very good at it! Haha... At least now I know that I do not want to head down the Media career path. I just think that a job should just be a job. It shouldn't consume your life and affect your relationships with family and friends like mine did. If a job should affect those aspects, maybe it'd be a job like social work or something, where you're actually helping out peopl's lives ya know? Not a ruthless , meaningless, behind-the-scenes media career.

The highlight was meeting a lot of people I probably wouldn't have met in normal life. Most famous person I met? Either Stef Sun or JJ Lin... whichever is more famous. Getting to see the difference between many performers in real life and how they are on stage is fascinating! Getting to see the Idol hopefuls before they learn to perform on TV was real cute too. Only wish it hadn'ts taken up so much of my life. Ya know... when you're young, a few weeks is like an eternity!

Enough on work.... I didn't get to go to as many concerts as I'd like. Not that I couldn't afford it, but cos of scheduling conflicts. I hope I can go to more concerts this year!

Turned the big 21... Spent that shopping with family in KL for the first time. Cos of work, I didn't have time to organize a party. But had a rather pleasant, albeit short time in KL. Lots of other people had their 21st birthday party and cos I was unemployed, was very broke from all the presents I had to get. Now thinking of holding a little 22nd birthday party this year. Maybe....

Love life is DEAD. Of all the things I can do, the things I have achieved in my own small way, that is the one thing I have absolutely no idea on. I've been pretty ok with that fact for a long time. But that was cos I usually had some other distraction like school or work. When the unemployment started, that's when the doubting of myself started. It wasn't cos of the love life thingy, but me and my life in general. Like, why am I even here??? I am my own worst enemy. This year was the first time I had to research about depression on the internet. Mixed feelings about what I found out and what I had to deal with. Laughed unhealthily when no one seemed to notice anything. Ha. Ha. Now wish I had money to maaaaybe see someone just to get an opinion. This may not be as serious as I think it is after all... ?

Moving on! Overall, its been a pretty blah year. I honestly don't know what to think about it. 2008 was a great year so maybe 2009 pales in comparison? I learned a lot about myself in 2009 and I hope to use what I learnt in 2010! Here's hoping that 2010 is better for me and even better for everyone else out there!

Happy new year! :)

A weekend of noise

I understand your need to celebrate, I really do.... it's your special occasion, after all. But do you need the whole fucking neighbourhood to suffer in your celebration? I don't know if you can call it a celebration when the other 300 odd people in the neighbourhood is suffering. No such thing as a quiet weekend when you're celebrating!

And what is with the bad singing? REALLY? I mean, really? Its not enough that you're making NOISE, but you can't even have a little decent music?

ARGH...... SHUT UP!!!!!!

P.S. Now looking forward to going to the Idol finals to experience real singing. :)