Life these days... Go to work as the sun sets, taking the same route and arriving an hour early for preparation. Queue up for my uniform, change, walk like a million miles to the scheduling place, check what game I'm at, groan/sigh/roll-my-eyes, drag meself to me locker, get a drink of water, report in to a pissed and tired pit manager, start shift, get bored, mind wanders, make stupid mistake cos not paying attention, wonder how long am I gonna do this, finally get a break after 2 hours or so, grab whatever food/liquid, go back to finish my shift, smile when it's over, check out when the sun is about to rise. Then I slowly make my way home, sleep, wake up at around 3-4pm and do it all over again.
I know this is similar to what a lot of people go through but I gotta tell you, working night shift and having to do the main part of your job with people staring at you (you can't slack off or dig your nose or whatever) really takes it out of you... So far I've always stayed at my job for only about 6 months and I thought I might be able to really stick this one out. But like a lot of my colleagues, we're getting kinda bored! And totally losing patience with the management. I think we're being very kind and understanding that they're new and figuring things out but if they don't sort things out by the 3rd month that we're open..... Be prepared to hold another recruitment drive!
Ok, enough about work... I do have a life!!!
Cos of my schedule, I haven't been able to see my friends so much. Cos when they're working, I'm sleeping and when I'm sleeping they're working (I sound like a broken record). I think the last friend I met up with was Kal at the beginning of April. And bestie.... haven't seen her since her birthday! During training my off day was Sun and I know she has church and her boyfriend so I don't wanna disturb her and now that I started work... Sigh.... really got no chance to meet up. But she was the first one to ask of any birthday plans so thanks girl! At least I know someone out there other than my mum will celebrate my birthday for me and I appreciate it so much! :)
Movie watching is still going fine. The Back Up Plan was not bad.... But anytime I see Jennifer Lopez try to pass off as a working class, ordinary woman it just makes me not bother about the film. Ha... To me its like a Poodle trying to pass off as a chihuaha or something... it doesn't make sense!
Watched Robin Hood today and I think it was a nice film.... Think because I fell asleep a lot! We watched the 4.50pm show which to a lot of people is a nice time but to me it feels like 8am! Anyway, what I did see I liked. Confused about casting Cate Blanchett though... I mean, is Robin Hood's girlfriend supposed to look like a pretty 40-year old who needs a lil more makeup? She delivers feist and class perfectly but what's up with the look for the character? Gotta do more research before I judge... And Russell Crowe gave a good performance as usual. He does look like he's frowning a lot though.... hmm.... Oh and I think Gerard Butler would make a better Robin Hood. But with Ridley Scott as the director, I don't think anyone stood a chance!
Lastly, I rented Post Grad and I really liked it! Its about his girl, 22, just graduated from college and learns that things won't go her way like she planned. She then goes on a journey to discover what's really important in life. It's a simple movie but it kinda has an indie feel to it and I'm a sucker for those kind of movies!
I'm turning 22 in one week! Don't even know how to feel about that! Except... soon I can say that I'm in my mid twenties! Yikes! It seems like only yesterday that I was in my teens!!!!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Friday, April 30, 2010
New Beginnings
Well, it's definitely no secret that the Casino opened recently. I was working on that day... night shift from 8pm to 6am. When I saw my schedule, I was like... wtf??? Haha... So I slept as usual the night before and took a nap in the afternoon and managed to survive my first night shift! Although by 5am I was pretty tired...
The first game I dealt was Blackjack. I was happy that I got that cos it's the one I was most confident in (and the most recent game we learnt). First guest... took her $50 within a minute of her sitting down! She looked at me, said ''oei'' then walked away.
Second guest... 2 kind of chee-ko-pek men in their 40's and 50's. Asked me ''xiao mei ji sui? 22 ah? yi ding hui hen hao de hor?'' Ewwwwwww..... I wish someone else would've seen the way they were looking at me, moving their eyes up and down and raising their eyebrows. I would've shuddered with disgust if I wasn't so darn nervous! Haha....
Surprisingly, it wasn't as packed as I thought it'd be! I thought it'd be full house but there were some empty tables here and there and I was one of them. Cos I kept taking their money.... I got to deal Baccarat after that and I even took their money there! So I was at my empty table with nothing to do. When guests would sit down, I'd be kinda glad! More glad than nervous for something to do! It got to a point where I was kinda hoping the guests would win money so they wouldn't walk away! But then again, I'd only been a dealer for one night at the point so it'd be interesting to see what I would prefer a few months down the road...
I was exhausted by the time my shift ended. First time I worked night shift and it was OT some more... I clocked in when the sun was setting and clocked out when the sun rised. Boy, that really throws your body clock off! Went to get some breakfast with colleagues in Orchard then slowly but surely made my way home. It's weird to go home when everyone else is on their way to work. What follows is the first time that it has ever happened to me.
You know how they say you don't know how tired you are until you sit down? Well, I got a seat at Tanjong Pagar. I fell asleep almost immediately. Woke up for a few seconds when the train got to Buona Vista. Thought I could sleep for a while more... The next thing I knew, a rather rude MRT driver was using his keys to knock on the railing beside me and telling me to get off the train at....... Joo Koon station! OMG! I actually slept through all the ridiculously loud MRT announcements and people getting on and off the train long enough to reach the end of the line and the driver had to wake me up! I ran out of the train as quickly as possible and took the train back. HAHA! Then I got to thinking... why didn't anyone wake me up? Did everyone get off the train before Joo Koon? Cos if I saw someone dead asleep and the train/bus was at the last already, I'd wake the person up cos I don't want him/her to be alone or something, you know? It could maybe be dangerous! And worse... what if the person wasn't asleep? There could've been some medical complications along the way or something!
I'm going to work on Friday night... again. Another OT. And this time it's a weekend. Public holiday weekend! Ah! Boy, I'm gonna need my strength that night! I end at 8am, just in time to see the lovely sunrise at Marina Bay!
This really is a new beginning for me. My third job and I'm conquering my fear of counting. Lucky I have my lovely colleagues to go through this with. Recently we've been bonding a lot, going out for dinner and a lot of karaoke! So much so that I'm actually out over $100 cos of the spending and taxi taking! Hoping to save as much as possible when my pay comes in!
The first game I dealt was Blackjack. I was happy that I got that cos it's the one I was most confident in (and the most recent game we learnt). First guest... took her $50 within a minute of her sitting down! She looked at me, said ''oei'' then walked away.
Second guest... 2 kind of chee-ko-pek men in their 40's and 50's. Asked me ''xiao mei ji sui? 22 ah? yi ding hui hen hao de hor?'' Ewwwwwww..... I wish someone else would've seen the way they were looking at me, moving their eyes up and down and raising their eyebrows. I would've shuddered with disgust if I wasn't so darn nervous! Haha....
Surprisingly, it wasn't as packed as I thought it'd be! I thought it'd be full house but there were some empty tables here and there and I was one of them. Cos I kept taking their money.... I got to deal Baccarat after that and I even took their money there! So I was at my empty table with nothing to do. When guests would sit down, I'd be kinda glad! More glad than nervous for something to do! It got to a point where I was kinda hoping the guests would win money so they wouldn't walk away! But then again, I'd only been a dealer for one night at the point so it'd be interesting to see what I would prefer a few months down the road...
I was exhausted by the time my shift ended. First time I worked night shift and it was OT some more... I clocked in when the sun was setting and clocked out when the sun rised. Boy, that really throws your body clock off! Went to get some breakfast with colleagues in Orchard then slowly but surely made my way home. It's weird to go home when everyone else is on their way to work. What follows is the first time that it has ever happened to me.
You know how they say you don't know how tired you are until you sit down? Well, I got a seat at Tanjong Pagar. I fell asleep almost immediately. Woke up for a few seconds when the train got to Buona Vista. Thought I could sleep for a while more... The next thing I knew, a rather rude MRT driver was using his keys to knock on the railing beside me and telling me to get off the train at....... Joo Koon station! OMG! I actually slept through all the ridiculously loud MRT announcements and people getting on and off the train long enough to reach the end of the line and the driver had to wake me up! I ran out of the train as quickly as possible and took the train back. HAHA! Then I got to thinking... why didn't anyone wake me up? Did everyone get off the train before Joo Koon? Cos if I saw someone dead asleep and the train/bus was at the last already, I'd wake the person up cos I don't want him/her to be alone or something, you know? It could maybe be dangerous! And worse... what if the person wasn't asleep? There could've been some medical complications along the way or something!
I'm going to work on Friday night... again. Another OT. And this time it's a weekend. Public holiday weekend! Ah! Boy, I'm gonna need my strength that night! I end at 8am, just in time to see the lovely sunrise at Marina Bay!
This really is a new beginning for me. My third job and I'm conquering my fear of counting. Lucky I have my lovely colleagues to go through this with. Recently we've been bonding a lot, going out for dinner and a lot of karaoke! So much so that I'm actually out over $100 cos of the spending and taxi taking! Hoping to save as much as possible when my pay comes in!
Friday, April 16, 2010
Bad movie experience but great movie
I had the worst movie experience today... and I'm not gonna be shy about it.
The movie itself was great, excellent! But the thing that destroyed the earlier part of my day was... the bloody cinema! Or, to be more specific, the management at the cinema! Singapore only has like 5 major cinema operations and this one is one of 2 that I don't like. The cinema is at... West Mall. Enough said. Singaporeans should know the place well and I think they might've had their own experiences too....
Its early on a Thursday afternoon. Mum and I now watch movies on Thursdays before I go to work cos it suits both our schedules well. We caught the 11am showing of Shutter Island. Here's what went wrong...
The movie itself was great, excellent! But the thing that destroyed the earlier part of my day was... the bloody cinema! Or, to be more specific, the management at the cinema! Singapore only has like 5 major cinema operations and this one is one of 2 that I don't like. The cinema is at... West Mall. Enough said. Singaporeans should know the place well and I think they might've had their own experiences too....
Its early on a Thursday afternoon. Mum and I now watch movies on Thursdays before I go to work cos it suits both our schedules well. We caught the 11am showing of Shutter Island. Here's what went wrong...
- Management screwed up the movie timing for the staff so they ended up screening the show earlier than they were supposed so they had to rewind the film (which apparently takes some time). Therefore....
- Movie started at 11.28am instead of 11am. No one official came in to tell us it was gonna be delayed, just some normal staff who said it was only gonna be ''5 more minutes''
- The first 5 minutes or so, they had the wrong... lens or something so the actors were all squashed up, heads cut off as well as subtitles.... (t felt like watching a pirated movie or something) Oh, get this.... the lights were on as well!
- About 3/4 through the show, the projectionist screwed up again. The bottom half of the film was at the top and vice versa. This carried on for about 5 min at a point in the film where things were getting discovered.
- Show ended and immediately after the first name was shown on the credits, they cut it off. The was no picture and no sound for about 30 seconds. Then the credits continued but I couldn't remember if there was sound cos I was kinda busy storming out of there. Later, I overheard that they probably cut off the credit cos they were rushing for the next movie to start. (Do I f***ing care???)
- Staff were not apologetic at all. AT ALL. They still insisted on us exiting through the front of the cinema and their faces looked, dare I say, irritated even! When my mum mentioned about the horrible service we experienced, they just blamed the management. I mean, there's gotta be some kinda manager there right? Not even a lil compensation or even a full f***ing refund?
They should thank their lucky stars that the 15-20 unfortunate patrons that morning did not make a big fuss like we could have. Mum and I worked in service line before and we know what it's like when things go wrong so we didn't wanna make things difficult for them when it's not their fault. Funny cos this isn't the first time that we had bad experiences at that cinema chain. They often forget to turn off their lights in the beginning; once the film just stopped halfway then continued on 5 min later; they blind your eyes after you've been sitting in a dark theatre for 2 hours by turning on the spotlights IMMEDIATELY after the show ends and most of the staff there really look like they are not happy to be there and might spit in your popcorn if you say something wrong!
Why, just recently, my friend and I were late for a movie cos we had to wait 15 min to get drinks! There was only 1 bloody counter open and they were really slow.
Today did it for me... I'm not visiting that cinema for quite some time if I can help it! DON'T GO TO THE CINEMA AT WEST MALL!!! And perhaps the other branches as well (I've only been to the other one at Suntec) You pay the same price at other places and get service 10 times better!!!
P.S. Go watch Shutter Island tho... it's a fantastic psychological thriller and a great homage to the film noir style. Stellar performance from DiCaprio, as usual great directing from Scorsese and I love the raw editing! Although, as one who watches a lot of movies, I kinda guessed the plot (correctly) from the first clue... Watch it!
Monday, April 12, 2010
Thinking + movies = movies that make you think
Well, what do ya know... Just a day or 2 after I posted the last post, I casually asked my mum if she'd allow me to go overseas by myself. Almost immediately, she said no! I mean... wth. I think I am pretty responsible for someone my age and can somewhat take care of myself and most people who know me would agree! Mum said that she trusts me but I just lack experience in travelling so she won't allow me to go. Well, how am I supposed to get the experience then? Sigh... I'm sure someday I'd understand how she feels when I'm a parent myself, but for now its just agonizing feelings, confusion and distrust that I'll have to keep my mind busy...
Work is going grreat... Really bonding with my colleagues so now it doesn't really feel like going to work. Like going to meet my friends! And it helps that I literally spend the whole day playing games! Currently learning Blackjack so its a whole day of counting numbers over and over... Nice to play and win/lose fake money!
Even tho I'm working now, I still can't give up my movies! And so mum and I have taken to watching movies before my work starts. I start around 3.30pm so plenty of time to catch a show before that. Recently, I was dissappointed with Clash of the Titans. The trailer was so promising but the show was... confusing. Like it couldn't decide which genre it wanted to be in... 3d spectacular? Comedy? Fantastic remake? Greek mythology references galore? Like, really similar to the characters in Percy Jackson? Haha... sorry, I know the original movie was eons ago but Percy Jackson did come out before this new one.
2 shows talked about the same thing... Forgiveness. Remember Me and A Single Man were 2 very different stories but they were all about forgiving and moving on before its too late. They show how your emotion can overrule every logical bone in your body and keep you in a prison of self-loathing and dicontentment. Its so true... cos we have such a short time on earth, if you don't let go of things, you'll just be stuck and never move on. Out of the 2, I prefer Remember me... not cos of Robert (I felt I was watching Edward Cullen for awhile) but cos the story was well written. And it was about a 22 year old which I find fiction and movies don't really talk too much about that age!
In a spending spree since I got my pay... wasn't much to spend but to go from having almost $0 to 4 digits is sooooo satisfying! :)
Work is going grreat... Really bonding with my colleagues so now it doesn't really feel like going to work. Like going to meet my friends! And it helps that I literally spend the whole day playing games! Currently learning Blackjack so its a whole day of counting numbers over and over... Nice to play and win/lose fake money!
Even tho I'm working now, I still can't give up my movies! And so mum and I have taken to watching movies before my work starts. I start around 3.30pm so plenty of time to catch a show before that. Recently, I was dissappointed with Clash of the Titans. The trailer was so promising but the show was... confusing. Like it couldn't decide which genre it wanted to be in... 3d spectacular? Comedy? Fantastic remake? Greek mythology references galore? Like, really similar to the characters in Percy Jackson? Haha... sorry, I know the original movie was eons ago but Percy Jackson did come out before this new one.
2 shows talked about the same thing... Forgiveness. Remember Me and A Single Man were 2 very different stories but they were all about forgiving and moving on before its too late. They show how your emotion can overrule every logical bone in your body and keep you in a prison of self-loathing and dicontentment. Its so true... cos we have such a short time on earth, if you don't let go of things, you'll just be stuck and never move on. Out of the 2, I prefer Remember me... not cos of Robert (I felt I was watching Edward Cullen for awhile) but cos the story was well written. And it was about a 22 year old which I find fiction and movies don't really talk too much about that age!
In a spending spree since I got my pay... wasn't much to spend but to go from having almost $0 to 4 digits is sooooo satisfying! :)
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Settling in nicely
Work is great! I actually look forward to going to work sometimes! I think cos we spend so much time otgether, 6 days a week, learning and going through the same things together, I really bonded with my colleagues! It really feels like school there... you have to report on time, no allowance given, if you're late you have to let your trainer know and you even have to let them know you're going to the toilet!
Mum and dad went to Beijing last week. They came back today. I think its cos of my cousins and colleagues that made the absence of them quite enjoyable! Don't get me wrong, I did miss them especially when I come home to a considerably quieter house, but I maybe would never have had all the fun moments and memories this past week if they were in Singapore! Now that mum's back, I gotta be more guai again and do my duty as a daughter! Ha.
Since I didn't wanna spend Sunday alone, I invited my cousins over for an overnight ''mahjong session''. Boy, it was anything BUT a mahjong session! We ended up playing drinking games and about 6 hours after they arrived, at about 6am, we were pretty much all passed out! Haha... Cousin Jonathan came over and I was really glad we did cos we never really spent much time together before. And cousins Ruyi and Jac brought their friend Kate over too. Kate was the very nice turn of events especially for my dear lil cousin Fran! Haha... he might have to thank me if it all works out! :) I really love it when life takes an unexpected turn and suddenly a whole new era of great things just begin!
I love the way I took care of myself when my parents were not around! I hope I've shown mum that I'm not a little girl anymore and I can handle myself. With that and the way I totally took care of her when we went KL, I hope she can allow me to go overseas with friends or cousins in the future. *crossing fingers*
Love ya cousins! Peace! :)
Mum and dad went to Beijing last week. They came back today. I think its cos of my cousins and colleagues that made the absence of them quite enjoyable! Don't get me wrong, I did miss them especially when I come home to a considerably quieter house, but I maybe would never have had all the fun moments and memories this past week if they were in Singapore! Now that mum's back, I gotta be more guai again and do my duty as a daughter! Ha.
Since I didn't wanna spend Sunday alone, I invited my cousins over for an overnight ''mahjong session''. Boy, it was anything BUT a mahjong session! We ended up playing drinking games and about 6 hours after they arrived, at about 6am, we were pretty much all passed out! Haha... Cousin Jonathan came over and I was really glad we did cos we never really spent much time together before. And cousins Ruyi and Jac brought their friend Kate over too. Kate was the very nice turn of events especially for my dear lil cousin Fran! Haha... he might have to thank me if it all works out! :) I really love it when life takes an unexpected turn and suddenly a whole new era of great things just begin!
I love the way I took care of myself when my parents were not around! I hope I've shown mum that I'm not a little girl anymore and I can handle myself. With that and the way I totally took care of her when we went KL, I hope she can allow me to go overseas with friends or cousins in the future. *crossing fingers*
Love ya cousins! Peace! :)
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
First days of activity
Yesterday was my orientation. Boy, a whole lot of briefing was done! Today, Tuesday was the first day of training. So far its alright. I don't really like the beginning part when everyone is still shy and not really talkative... So far the people are nice. Not a whole lot of them are my year... A lot of mid twenties and above. And a significant amount of aunties and uncles! Like my mum and dad's age! And they even speak the hokkien exactly like them. Quite a whole lot of foreigners... The usual suspects la... I won't mention in detail.
As with most work, I can't say much about exactly what I'm doing. Most of you who know me know what I'm doing and the rest can just guess!
Its now 12.35am as I am writing this. I just got home not long ago. My training will only end at 11pm from now on! I don't really like the timing cos its like an ''in between'' time. Starts in the middle of the afternoon and ends late at night. Can't really meet up with friends cos they all working in the morning and can't meet them at night too cos its too late! Why coudln't I have been given the one that ends at 3pm? Haha...
At least I have 1 friends through all this... Sharilyn whom I've known for quite a while now! We're in different groups so can only see each other in passing but its better than nothing! By the time I come home, I think there's just enough time to watch something online while my hair dries or go my usual sites, then go to sleep, wake up in time for brunch and its off to work again! I hope the pace picks up! :)
As with most work, I can't say much about exactly what I'm doing. Most of you who know me know what I'm doing and the rest can just guess!
Its now 12.35am as I am writing this. I just got home not long ago. My training will only end at 11pm from now on! I don't really like the timing cos its like an ''in between'' time. Starts in the middle of the afternoon and ends late at night. Can't really meet up with friends cos they all working in the morning and can't meet them at night too cos its too late! Why coudln't I have been given the one that ends at 3pm? Haha...
At least I have 1 friends through all this... Sharilyn whom I've known for quite a while now! We're in different groups so can only see each other in passing but its better than nothing! By the time I come home, I think there's just enough time to watch something online while my hair dries or go my usual sites, then go to sleep, wake up in time for brunch and its off to work again! I hope the pace picks up! :)
Friday, February 12, 2010
CNY prep
Chinese New Year is coming! I've been quite busy preparing for it. Since I'm still stuck at home for now waiting for work to start, I decided to help my mum out. I practically cleaned the whole kitchen, cleaned the bar counter (except for the wine and liquor cos I like the dust on them!), swept certain parts of the ceiling, cleaned every corner of my room and almost every other detail in my house. I'm like ready to be a housewife! Haha... I mentioned to my mum that I don't think my friends do this much for spring cleaning. Also, I noticed that since I graduated, I've never been employed during the X'mas and CNY period! Maybe that's why? I dunno... Friends, do you spring clean the house?
Yesterday (10Feb) was my dog Dixie's 3rd death anniversary. I'm totally ok with it now. We occasionally mention her in conversation and talk of her stupid but adorable habits. Like she always stood staring at the door wanting to go out then the moment you let her go out, she wants to come in again! And when she wants food and you ask her to do 1 trick like sit, she'll end up doing all she knows so you can give it to her faster! And when she smells something she doesn't like, she'll put her nose underneath her left hind leg and walk away! I miss you Dixie. And I generally miss having something furry around the house (besides the dust bunnies). This after falling in love with a chewing guinea pig at great world city!
Valentine's Day is coming up. Went to watch the movie Valentine's Day today. Never really bothered about that day cos its my mum's birthday. In a way, I'm really glad cos I know that my family would somehow have to celebrate her birthday together, so I'll never be alone. I shudder to think how alone I'd be if my mum's birthday wasn't on that day!
After finally receiving the start date of my work (22Feb), I'm glad to report that my mental health is better! I keep myself busy with spring cleaning and I don't have depressive thoughts about 80% of the time. Just as well... the previous posts that I mentioned my depressive feelings could just as well have been suicide letters cos no one bothered to ask. Not even a mention on my tag board. Considering taking it down... Hmm...
Only a few more days before CNY! Have a feeling it'll be an interesting one. Hopefully a good interesting! :)
Yesterday (10Feb) was my dog Dixie's 3rd death anniversary. I'm totally ok with it now. We occasionally mention her in conversation and talk of her stupid but adorable habits. Like she always stood staring at the door wanting to go out then the moment you let her go out, she wants to come in again! And when she wants food and you ask her to do 1 trick like sit, she'll end up doing all she knows so you can give it to her faster! And when she smells something she doesn't like, she'll put her nose underneath her left hind leg and walk away! I miss you Dixie. And I generally miss having something furry around the house (besides the dust bunnies). This after falling in love with a chewing guinea pig at great world city!
Valentine's Day is coming up. Went to watch the movie Valentine's Day today. Never really bothered about that day cos its my mum's birthday. In a way, I'm really glad cos I know that my family would somehow have to celebrate her birthday together, so I'll never be alone. I shudder to think how alone I'd be if my mum's birthday wasn't on that day!
After finally receiving the start date of my work (22Feb), I'm glad to report that my mental health is better! I keep myself busy with spring cleaning and I don't have depressive thoughts about 80% of the time. Just as well... the previous posts that I mentioned my depressive feelings could just as well have been suicide letters cos no one bothered to ask. Not even a mention on my tag board. Considering taking it down... Hmm...
Only a few more days before CNY! Have a feeling it'll be an interesting one. Hopefully a good interesting! :)
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Useless Sat night fact
While surfing Wikipedia, I came across something called 'Irritable Male Syndrome'. Haha! Who knew they had a term for irritating males? Kidding...
It is actually a recently coined term for a set of symptoms thought to be caused by a drop in testosterone levels in male mammals. Like a male menopause?
But still, can't deny the fact of the words... Irritable Male Syndrome is just a ''bowel movement'' away from Irritable Bowel Syndrome! :)
It is actually a recently coined term for a set of symptoms thought to be caused by a drop in testosterone levels in male mammals. Like a male menopause?
But still, can't deny the fact of the words... Irritable Male Syndrome is just a ''bowel movement'' away from Irritable Bowel Syndrome! :)
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Am I really doing this again? I'm scared.
I just had a rather nice day doing the whole lunch and movie thing with mum. Then dinner with sis. Played Sims. Chatted online with friends. No ordinary firends but my closest friends. And just cos of 1 small thing that happened. 1 small thing of them not really listening to what I was saying. And I feel like curling up in a (big) ball on my bed, letting it all flow out until it stops.
Where does it even come from? Why is it here? I'm controlling back something that probably shouldn't be here in the first place. They're asleep now. The silence is deafening.
why?
i don't wanna feel like this. I thought the hormones were supposed to be over and done with.
Don't even know how to end this post.
I just had a rather nice day doing the whole lunch and movie thing with mum. Then dinner with sis. Played Sims. Chatted online with friends. No ordinary firends but my closest friends. And just cos of 1 small thing that happened. 1 small thing of them not really listening to what I was saying. And I feel like curling up in a (big) ball on my bed, letting it all flow out until it stops.
Where does it even come from? Why is it here? I'm controlling back something that probably shouldn't be here in the first place. They're asleep now. The silence is deafening.
why?
i don't wanna feel like this. I thought the hormones were supposed to be over and done with.
Don't even know how to end this post.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
2009 in review
It was a tumultuos and also peaceful year. Let's see... I was unemplyed for almost half a year and the other half a year OF MY LIFE was consumed by my first serious job (with a career path). I learned A LOT this year from that job. It was certainly very challenging, a test of your pateince, endurance and brains and I'm not shy to admit that I was not very good at it! Haha... At least now I know that I do not want to head down the Media career path. I just think that a job should just be a job. It shouldn't consume your life and affect your relationships with family and friends like mine did. If a job should affect those aspects, maybe it'd be a job like social work or something, where you're actually helping out peopl's lives ya know? Not a ruthless , meaningless, behind-the-scenes media career.
The highlight was meeting a lot of people I probably wouldn't have met in normal life. Most famous person I met? Either Stef Sun or JJ Lin... whichever is more famous. Getting to see the difference between many performers in real life and how they are on stage is fascinating! Getting to see the Idol hopefuls before they learn to perform on TV was real cute too. Only wish it hadn'ts taken up so much of my life. Ya know... when you're young, a few weeks is like an eternity!
Enough on work.... I didn't get to go to as many concerts as I'd like. Not that I couldn't afford it, but cos of scheduling conflicts. I hope I can go to more concerts this year!
Turned the big 21... Spent that shopping with family in KL for the first time. Cos of work, I didn't have time to organize a party. But had a rather pleasant, albeit short time in KL. Lots of other people had their 21st birthday party and cos I was unemployed, was very broke from all the presents I had to get. Now thinking of holding a little 22nd birthday party this year. Maybe....
Love life is DEAD. Of all the things I can do, the things I have achieved in my own small way, that is the one thing I have absolutely no idea on. I've been pretty ok with that fact for a long time. But that was cos I usually had some other distraction like school or work. When the unemployment started, that's when the doubting of myself started. It wasn't cos of the love life thingy, but me and my life in general. Like, why am I even here??? I am my own worst enemy. This year was the first time I had to research about depression on the internet. Mixed feelings about what I found out and what I had to deal with. Laughed unhealthily when no one seemed to notice anything. Ha. Ha. Now wish I had money to maaaaybe see someone just to get an opinion. This may not be as serious as I think it is after all... ?
Moving on! Overall, its been a pretty blah year. I honestly don't know what to think about it. 2008 was a great year so maybe 2009 pales in comparison? I learned a lot about myself in 2009 and I hope to use what I learnt in 2010! Here's hoping that 2010 is better for me and even better for everyone else out there!
Happy new year! :)
The highlight was meeting a lot of people I probably wouldn't have met in normal life. Most famous person I met? Either Stef Sun or JJ Lin... whichever is more famous. Getting to see the difference between many performers in real life and how they are on stage is fascinating! Getting to see the Idol hopefuls before they learn to perform on TV was real cute too. Only wish it hadn'ts taken up so much of my life. Ya know... when you're young, a few weeks is like an eternity!
Enough on work.... I didn't get to go to as many concerts as I'd like. Not that I couldn't afford it, but cos of scheduling conflicts. I hope I can go to more concerts this year!
Turned the big 21... Spent that shopping with family in KL for the first time. Cos of work, I didn't have time to organize a party. But had a rather pleasant, albeit short time in KL. Lots of other people had their 21st birthday party and cos I was unemployed, was very broke from all the presents I had to get. Now thinking of holding a little 22nd birthday party this year. Maybe....
Love life is DEAD. Of all the things I can do, the things I have achieved in my own small way, that is the one thing I have absolutely no idea on. I've been pretty ok with that fact for a long time. But that was cos I usually had some other distraction like school or work. When the unemployment started, that's when the doubting of myself started. It wasn't cos of the love life thingy, but me and my life in general. Like, why am I even here??? I am my own worst enemy. This year was the first time I had to research about depression on the internet. Mixed feelings about what I found out and what I had to deal with. Laughed unhealthily when no one seemed to notice anything. Ha. Ha. Now wish I had money to maaaaybe see someone just to get an opinion. This may not be as serious as I think it is after all... ?
Moving on! Overall, its been a pretty blah year. I honestly don't know what to think about it. 2008 was a great year so maybe 2009 pales in comparison? I learned a lot about myself in 2009 and I hope to use what I learnt in 2010! Here's hoping that 2010 is better for me and even better for everyone else out there!
Happy new year! :)
Sunday, December 27, 2009
A weekend of noise
I understand your need to celebrate, I really do.... it's your special occasion, after all. But do you need the whole fucking neighbourhood to suffer in your celebration? I don't know if you can call it a celebration when the other 300 odd people in the neighbourhood is suffering. No such thing as a quiet weekend when you're celebrating!
And what is with the bad singing? REALLY? I mean, really? Its not enough that you're making NOISE, but you can't even have a little decent music?
ARGH...... SHUT UP!!!!!!
P.S. Now looking forward to going to the Idol finals to experience real singing. :)
And what is with the bad singing? REALLY? I mean, really? Its not enough that you're making NOISE, but you can't even have a little decent music?
ARGH...... SHUT UP!!!!!!
P.S. Now looking forward to going to the Idol finals to experience real singing. :)
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Slacking with Mr ''URTI''
My exercise plan was going pretty well. Up until recently, I went to exercise at the gym or swim or some other activity like 2 or 3 times a week. Last week, I decided to exercise everyday. Went to gym on Mon and Tuesday, rested my muscles on Wednesday, then swimming on Thursday and Friday. I don't go out and exercise on weekends for fear of the many misbehaved kids.
This week, I went to swim 16 laps. And then I fell sick! Haha... I had had a sore throat over the weekend but nothing to worry about, then now its grown to full on phlegm. I hope its not, but it might be the beginning of the Upper Respiratory Tract Infection (URTI) again. Which, if anyone recalls, I had one earlier this year and a really bad one last year....
So now I can't even sing at home cos my voice just can't do it. I just spent the day totally slacking adn that's what compelled me to write this rather mundane post.... And hearing some advendtures from my sis who just got back from Belgium, Germany, Holland and Paris. You know, its my dream to go to that area, but our dollar is so weak among the Euro that I might not have as much fun there.... :(
Left with 100 more pages in Dracula. It's difficult to read an unabridged version of a classic book cos they really write differently in the past. And the words that I don't understand, sometimes I can't even find in the dictionary cos maybe its an old word or something.... I've been reading this 440+ page book for over a months already. Wanna faster finish it so I can go on to something much easier, like Twilight's Eclipse. Ha.
This week, I went to swim 16 laps. And then I fell sick! Haha... I had had a sore throat over the weekend but nothing to worry about, then now its grown to full on phlegm. I hope its not, but it might be the beginning of the Upper Respiratory Tract Infection (URTI) again. Which, if anyone recalls, I had one earlier this year and a really bad one last year....
So now I can't even sing at home cos my voice just can't do it. I just spent the day totally slacking adn that's what compelled me to write this rather mundane post.... And hearing some advendtures from my sis who just got back from Belgium, Germany, Holland and Paris. You know, its my dream to go to that area, but our dollar is so weak among the Euro that I might not have as much fun there.... :(
Left with 100 more pages in Dracula. It's difficult to read an unabridged version of a classic book cos they really write differently in the past. And the words that I don't understand, sometimes I can't even find in the dictionary cos maybe its an old word or something.... I've been reading this 440+ page book for over a months already. Wanna faster finish it so I can go on to something much easier, like Twilight's Eclipse. Ha.
Friday, December 11, 2009
3 brothers and a distant cousin
Watched An Education at Vivo's Cinema Europa with May Ann on Monday. I liked the movie. For me, the title has a double meaning to it and I do recommend this film to young ladies like myself. Lead actor Peter Sarsgaard could have been more man candy, but I think his face and eyes make up for his lack of muscles and a lot of chest hair! I like his look but I think a lot of ladies here might not like his look, so it was an interesting casting choice!
After the show, I thought about it for a while and came to this conclusion....
Ladies and gentlemen, let me present... from left: Kiefer Sutherland (24), Peter Sarsgaard (Flightplan) and Ewan McGregor (Star Wars, Moulin Rouge) !
Someone please cast them as brothers??? They do bear a sort of resemblance to one another, no? And they do have the tendency to play troubled characters.... So I'm thinking.... 3 estranged brothers who are torn apart by a family dispute, but they have to come together to save the day! And if you really wanna make it interesting, you can let Kiefer do his ''I'm very manly, give me your gun'' thing. Peter can extort money out of someone, while Ewan distracts them by singing his heart out! Oh, and Jude Law could play a very pretty distant cousin or something....
Something to think about........ :)
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Insignificant
Referring to my previous post... Yes, the New Moon movie is better than the book. I'm so on team Jacob. Now looking forward to Cirque Du Freak the movie. Also about Vampires and I read during my secondary school days.
On another note....
I'm still waiting for my next job to start. Its been 3 months since I've been unemployed. People think its sooo easy to stay home and not do anything. Ya, you try it. See if you can stay at home, have an inquisitive, questioning mind and be completely alone with nothing to distract you from yourself. Just you and yourself in a death ring of life and questions. Ya, its easy.
With so much time to think, one thing that pops into my head is how completely and totally insignificant I feel. Recently, I went on a short trip to KL. My mum had a ton of people to inform about the trip and there were people who were like 'huh... why you going? What will we do without you?' I didn't tell anyone about the trip. I thought 'why bother?' Then, this crossed my mind.... Would anyone miss me if I'm gone?
Yes, I might look like I have the perfect life from the outside. Wake up people... NO ONE has a perfect life. I just don't tell you certain stuff and you don't bother to look deeper.
I appreciate the people in my life soooo much... just for being who you are, you are enriching my life. Did you know that?
But these days, everyone is moving on with their life and its ok! I'm happy for you!
Its just that now... its just me, my thoughts, nothing to distract me from them and no one to save me.
On another note....
I'm still waiting for my next job to start. Its been 3 months since I've been unemployed. People think its sooo easy to stay home and not do anything. Ya, you try it. See if you can stay at home, have an inquisitive, questioning mind and be completely alone with nothing to distract you from yourself. Just you and yourself in a death ring of life and questions. Ya, its easy.
With so much time to think, one thing that pops into my head is how completely and totally insignificant I feel. Recently, I went on a short trip to KL. My mum had a ton of people to inform about the trip and there were people who were like 'huh... why you going? What will we do without you?' I didn't tell anyone about the trip. I thought 'why bother?' Then, this crossed my mind.... Would anyone miss me if I'm gone?
Yes, I might look like I have the perfect life from the outside. Wake up people... NO ONE has a perfect life. I just don't tell you certain stuff and you don't bother to look deeper.
I appreciate the people in my life soooo much... just for being who you are, you are enriching my life. Did you know that?
But these days, everyone is moving on with their life and its ok! I'm happy for you!
Its just that now... its just me, my thoughts, nothing to distract me from them and no one to save me.
I dreamed I was missing you were so scared
But no one would listen cause no one else cared
After my dreaming I woke with this fear
What am I leaving when I'm done here
So if you're asking me I want you to know...
When my time comes forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
And don't resent me and when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
I'm scared. But that's alright... I think.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
There's a New Moon
I'm on the mailing list of Borders and they sent a voucher that says I can get a Stephanie Meyer (Twilight) book for 50% off. Now, that's a pretty good deal! I decided to succumb to popular culture and see what the fuss was all about.
So I dragged my mum down to Borders and of course there's a catch. The 1st 2 books in the series are already at a discounted price of $12 which means that I can't use my voucher. But still, $12 is a good bargain. So I got the 1st 2 books and managed to use my voucher for the 3rd book. All of them cost about $33. Bargain, yea!
I'm pretty free these days and since this was a teenage book, it was pretty light reading and I got through the 563 pages of New Moon in 3 days and 1 night. That's fast for my standard and ya, it was quite interesting. I watched the 1st Twilight movie and am now ready for the 2nd one. I got a feeling... Although most books kick their movie's ass, I think for once, the movie might be more interesting than the book... I dunno.. Guess I'll have to wait until 3 December to find out! 2 weeks after the American release, btw...
And Angie, my dear friend.... I think I'd rather join Jacob's pack. Hee.... I think he's sweeter! :)
So I dragged my mum down to Borders and of course there's a catch. The 1st 2 books in the series are already at a discounted price of $12 which means that I can't use my voucher. But still, $12 is a good bargain. So I got the 1st 2 books and managed to use my voucher for the 3rd book. All of them cost about $33. Bargain, yea!
I'm pretty free these days and since this was a teenage book, it was pretty light reading and I got through the 563 pages of New Moon in 3 days and 1 night. That's fast for my standard and ya, it was quite interesting. I watched the 1st Twilight movie and am now ready for the 2nd one. I got a feeling... Although most books kick their movie's ass, I think for once, the movie might be more interesting than the book... I dunno.. Guess I'll have to wait until 3 December to find out! 2 weeks after the American release, btw...
And Angie, my dear friend.... I think I'd rather join Jacob's pack. Hee.... I think he's sweeter! :)
Thursday, October 29, 2009
This Is It
I passed my basic theory test today! Nearly after a year that I signed up! Haha... Now I got my PDL and I'm looking forward to starting to learn how to drive! One thing I gotta say about BBDC... The girls there all look like they're into anime or something... Almost all are really white, have dyed brown hair and fake eyelashes. Then the instructors there look tired, like they just smoked a carton of cigarrettes and their skin took a beating from that! What a place of contrast...
After that, I popped over to Jurong East library and found some nice books. I found out then that they blocked my IC! Cos I lost my wallet and therefore my IC in 2005... So I had to replace the card. After I replaced it, I took the 2 books that I found and walked out... without checking them out yet! The alarm went off and all the security guard did was just to sit in his chair and look at me! Haha... ended up borrowing an encyclopedia of Calligraphy and a book on Art Deco.
In the evening, mum sis and I went to watch Michael Jackson's This Is It. Boy, if I were a fan, I think I'd be bawling my eyes out. Everytime I saw the trailer for the show, I got a bit emotional and watching the film wasn't any different. It was the parts when he talked about the ideas that he had and trying to perfect that segment of the show. You see the genius that he is during those moments. The first half of the show I was rather emotional but as it went on, I found myself smiling and just appreciating who he is. I really hope and pray that people will pay one last sign of respect to this great man of our time and just go, just pick yourself up and go to the cinema to watch his last moments. Please do not illegally watch or download this film because it will be nothing but disrespect to the King of Pop. Oh, and another suggestion... if your bladder isn't bursting by the end of the show, or if you're not in any rush, try to stay until the credits finish! :)
After that, I popped over to Jurong East library and found some nice books. I found out then that they blocked my IC! Cos I lost my wallet and therefore my IC in 2005... So I had to replace the card. After I replaced it, I took the 2 books that I found and walked out... without checking them out yet! The alarm went off and all the security guard did was just to sit in his chair and look at me! Haha... ended up borrowing an encyclopedia of Calligraphy and a book on Art Deco.
In the evening, mum sis and I went to watch Michael Jackson's This Is It. Boy, if I were a fan, I think I'd be bawling my eyes out. Everytime I saw the trailer for the show, I got a bit emotional and watching the film wasn't any different. It was the parts when he talked about the ideas that he had and trying to perfect that segment of the show. You see the genius that he is during those moments. The first half of the show I was rather emotional but as it went on, I found myself smiling and just appreciating who he is. I really hope and pray that people will pay one last sign of respect to this great man of our time and just go, just pick yourself up and go to the cinema to watch his last moments. Please do not illegally watch or download this film because it will be nothing but disrespect to the King of Pop. Oh, and another suggestion... if your bladder isn't bursting by the end of the show, or if you're not in any rush, try to stay until the credits finish! :)
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Food + Opinions = ???
I have been blessed with wonderful weekends!
Mid week however.... Sis cooked a meal for her boyfriend as an early birthday present abd we all helped a little. Then the next day we went to watch My Sister's Keeper and cried our eyes out. I read the book recently and thought it was pretty good. The movie however... I know you're supposed to view the movie and book as 2 seperate entities but no matter, under any circumstances, I think, that you should change the ending of the book! Sure, it'll probably please a lot more cinema-goers, but... wtf?!?!?!?
On Friday, I went to the zoo with a close dear friend and was pleasantly surprised when they all still remembered me and let me and Angie do some stuff for free! Sometimes I miss working there... Haha...
Saturday I met up with my poly girls. We caught up with Yu En on married life and the rest of us just chatted our girly talk. We walked from Far East to Orchard central and finished it off with a movie (500 days of summer) at Cineleisure. Orchard central? I didn't really like it... It didn't have much flow for me and the shops there weren't too interesting. I prefer Ion, if only I had more money... :)
Yesterday, someone told me that ''I look pretty, if only... its just my weight only...''. If I had a dollar for everytime I have heard that...
I wish that I could tell it: ''I don't have a problem with my weight or the way I look. YOU are the one with the problem, and before you say anything about me, why don't you take a good look in the mirror first? Being skinny does not justify you as being beautiful. Who the hell are you to let your opinions out for everyone to hear? Why don't you just take your opinions and shove it up your asshole of a brain?!''
Ah, if only we could say things and get away with it... :)
Mid week however.... Sis cooked a meal for her boyfriend as an early birthday present abd we all helped a little. Then the next day we went to watch My Sister's Keeper and cried our eyes out. I read the book recently and thought it was pretty good. The movie however... I know you're supposed to view the movie and book as 2 seperate entities but no matter, under any circumstances, I think, that you should change the ending of the book! Sure, it'll probably please a lot more cinema-goers, but... wtf?!?!?!?
On Friday, I went to the zoo with a close dear friend and was pleasantly surprised when they all still remembered me and let me and Angie do some stuff for free! Sometimes I miss working there... Haha...
Saturday I met up with my poly girls. We caught up with Yu En on married life and the rest of us just chatted our girly talk. We walked from Far East to Orchard central and finished it off with a movie (500 days of summer) at Cineleisure. Orchard central? I didn't really like it... It didn't have much flow for me and the shops there weren't too interesting. I prefer Ion, if only I had more money... :)
Yesterday, someone told me that ''I look pretty, if only... its just my weight only...''. If I had a dollar for everytime I have heard that...
I wish that I could tell it: ''I don't have a problem with my weight or the way I look. YOU are the one with the problem, and before you say anything about me, why don't you take a good look in the mirror first? Being skinny does not justify you as being beautiful. Who the hell are you to let your opinions out for everyone to hear? Why don't you just take your opinions and shove it up your asshole of a brain?!''
Ah, if only we could say things and get away with it... :)
Monday, October 19, 2009
Thank goodness for 3 small digits
What a contrast thes past 2 weekends have been! Last weekend I was running around attending my friend's 21st birthday party (on Sat) and helping my uncle do a performance (on Sun) for a close friend of his' daughter's birthday. Needless to say it was a packed weekend and by Sunday evening I was exhausted, collapsed on my bed and slept completely still for about 3 hours.
This weekend... I wanted to make plans. Call my 1 of 2 single girlfriend and see if she wanted to do anything or call my guy friend and see if he was doing anything. But I decided to spend some time at home with mummy. We went grocery shopping Friday evening and bought stuff to cook on Saturday....
See, I've recently been in a cooking phase. I'm interested in it and I would like to improve on that skill while I have some time. So I've been watching cooking shows on TV and even bought 2 cookbooks! And after watching the movie 'Julie & Julia' I knew I wanted to cook something this weekend! Btw, that movie is quite funny! More of a chick flick and a long chick flick at that!
So on Saturday we cooked corn soup with toufu, eggs, steamed pomfret and stir-fried spinach. And on Sunday we cooked curry. I wanted to break out a recipe from the cookbook but I thought I'd begin with something more familiar, to my mother anyway, so she could teach me some skills.
And it just so happened that the Borders email that I subscribe to, this week, has a voucher for 25% off any Jamie Oliver cookbook! And since I'm a member, I get an additional 10% off! Guess I'll be making a trip down to town this week!
I also bought 2 new CDs this week. (I've been running out of cash but I got some extra money from the performance, thank god!) Paramore and Mika. Paramore still sounded pretty much the same, not too much groth to them, and each song sounded similar but not in a good way. Mika, however, was fantastic. I was doing housework while listening to him and managed to listen to the CD 3 times! There were variations in each of his songs and a total Mika-ness to them... But, after listening to it, I really have to wonder if he was gay or not. Look out for tracks: 'Blame it on the girls', 'Dr John', 'Good Gone Girl' and 'Touches You'. If you're a fun, quirky person, you'll definitely like this album!
This weekend... I wanted to make plans. Call my 1 of 2 single girlfriend and see if she wanted to do anything or call my guy friend and see if he was doing anything. But I decided to spend some time at home with mummy. We went grocery shopping Friday evening and bought stuff to cook on Saturday....
See, I've recently been in a cooking phase. I'm interested in it and I would like to improve on that skill while I have some time. So I've been watching cooking shows on TV and even bought 2 cookbooks! And after watching the movie 'Julie & Julia' I knew I wanted to cook something this weekend! Btw, that movie is quite funny! More of a chick flick and a long chick flick at that!
So on Saturday we cooked corn soup with toufu, eggs, steamed pomfret and stir-fried spinach. And on Sunday we cooked curry. I wanted to break out a recipe from the cookbook but I thought I'd begin with something more familiar, to my mother anyway, so she could teach me some skills.
And it just so happened that the Borders email that I subscribe to, this week, has a voucher for 25% off any Jamie Oliver cookbook! And since I'm a member, I get an additional 10% off! Guess I'll be making a trip down to town this week!
I also bought 2 new CDs this week. (I've been running out of cash but I got some extra money from the performance, thank god!) Paramore and Mika. Paramore still sounded pretty much the same, not too much groth to them, and each song sounded similar but not in a good way. Mika, however, was fantastic. I was doing housework while listening to him and managed to listen to the CD 3 times! There were variations in each of his songs and a total Mika-ness to them... But, after listening to it, I really have to wonder if he was gay or not. Look out for tracks: 'Blame it on the girls', 'Dr John', 'Good Gone Girl' and 'Touches You'. If you're a fun, quirky person, you'll definitely like this album!
Sunday, October 4, 2009
A nice weekend
I like Sundays spent at home.... Mum's at home so there willl always be food when I wake up. She washes the clothes and burns essential oils so the house smells heavenly. I laze around as much as I can until mum chases me to do some housework! Haha... but today we're both lazy to do housework so it's extra shiok cos I can truly laze around! (Frankly, I'm tired of lazing around... can't wait to start work!)
Yesterday Jess and Ruyi came over for a little while. We have been trying to meet up for the longest time but Ruyi missed Jess by just 10 min! Trying to meet up on Monday night for dinner...
It was also my friend's wedding yesterday. A lot of people are shocked when I tell them she's 22. But hey, when you're ready you're ready right? It was so exciting cos she's the first person whose wedding I went to that I am close with. Also, all my classmates caught up with each other cos the last time we saw each other it was graduation! How quickly life moves along... and it's only been a year!
It's been a while, so here are some pictures...
Watched Funny People on Friday and it was hilarious! I cried at one point cos the family dog was licking the kid's ear... something Dixie used to do to me, only me... God, I miss her... I can't really remember her smell anymore.......
Saturday, September 19, 2009
feel
It's true what they say... ''There is no pleasure without pain''.
Without experiencing what it is like to hurt... we would not know the joyous sensation that is happiness.
It's like a story with no ending... it's incomplete. While we're on that matter, it's like a story with no beginning! You need both the beginning and the end to tell a story. The journey itself is inevitable.
We need both pleasure and pain to exist. Life is all about balance. Only when the scales are tipped does tragedy happen. Miss one emotion and you might forget what it's like to be human.
To be human is to feel.
So my friends, if you're hurting right now, fret not... embrace the hurt and make good use of it. Know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel... That after all this suffering, some good will come out of it.
Without experiencing what it is like to hurt... we would not know the joyous sensation that is happiness.
It's like a story with no ending... it's incomplete. While we're on that matter, it's like a story with no beginning! You need both the beginning and the end to tell a story. The journey itself is inevitable.
We need both pleasure and pain to exist. Life is all about balance. Only when the scales are tipped does tragedy happen. Miss one emotion and you might forget what it's like to be human.
To be human is to feel.
So my friends, if you're hurting right now, fret not... embrace the hurt and make good use of it. Know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel... That after all this suffering, some good will come out of it.
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